Kendall Jenner channeled her inner horse girl for Halloween 2022, dressing up as a sexy version of Jessie from “Toy Story” to celebrate over the weekend — but some weren’t too fond of the skin-baring look.
Wearing a large red hat, Western-style cropped shirt, cow-printed chaps and denim briefs, Jenner, 26, captioned a series of photos of her look with a quote from the Pixar character: “Well aren’t you just the sweetest space toy.”
However, some of the comments on her Instagram weren’t as sweet.
“It’s a kids movie WHY?!?” one person asked. Another said, “Oh now we’re sexualizing Kids animations Ayy?” while multiple commenters told the model she “ruined” the children’s movie.
“This is a lot for my childhood memories to process,” a commenter quipped, while another said, “Let’s take a classic kids movie and make it look like a XXX movie not right at all.”
Jenner wore a crop top with cow-printed chaps and denim briefs for the look.
Instagram/kendalljenner
Jenner wore a crop top with cow-printed chaps and denim briefs for the look.
Instagram/kendalljenner
Jenner wore a crop top with cow-printed chaps and denim briefs for the look.
The disgraced Yeezy designer's outburst comes as he continues to...
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Despite the backlash from Pixar purists, lots of Jenner’s famous friends gave the costume their stamp of approval.
Gigi Hadid called the outfit “So good!” while Khloé Kardashian commented, “Awwwwwwwwww my baby.”
After posing for her official photoshoot, Jenner’s Jessie slipped into something a little more comfortable, swapping her crop top for a bandeau bra. Khloé dubbed her the “Sexiest Jesse I’ve ever met,” while Addison Rae called the look “hot.”
BTS’ RM has performed ‘Sexy Nukim’ with Balming Tiger live for the first time today (October 28) – scroll down to see footage of the performance below.
The BTS leader and rapper teamed up with the “alternative K-pop” group on their latest single, which was released in September.
RM joined Balming Tiger on stage for the first time to perform the track together at an event held in Seoul tonight by W Korea, in aid of the Love Your W breast cancer awareness campaign. Footage shared on social media saw the star lip-syncing along to the track from the crowd, before joining the group on stage for his verse.
After his lines were finished, he joined the rest of Balming Tiger in delivering their synchronised dance moves in the chorus. Watch footage of the performance below now.
📍>>RM presento 'Sexy Nukim' junto a Balming Tiger en el evento Love Your W!
Otro ángulo 👀
🎥•
Presentación de 'Sexy Nukim ' de Balming Tiger ft. #RM en la 17.a campaña de concientización sobre el cáncer de mama de W Korea, 'Love Your W'.@BTS_twt#BTSpic.twitter.com/9GAL1q7uE7
— 🌱𝐒𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 ٭ᵀʰᵉ ᴀꜱᴛʀᴏɴᴀᴜᴛ ᴵˢ ᶜᵒᵐⁱⁿᵍ (@smilingRkive) October 28, 2022
Speaking about the collaboration at the time of its release, Balming Tiger said RM’s part in ‘Sexy Nukim’ “could never be replaced by anyone else”. “Until now, there has never been a principle that all songs should be completed only by our members,” they told DIY.
“There was no feature in the songs so far because we thought it was our members who could understand and express our songs the best. We had a belief that RM could express it better than anyone else in this song, and the results were very satisfactory to each other.”
They added that they “ended up using the lyrics and rap style that he sent us for the first time”. “He understood the music 120 per cent and drew his own style within the flow of the track,” the group explained. “And because he’s a man of such a humble, charming personality, we’ve been able to have fun throughout our work with him.”
Back in July, RM shared in a livestream that his next solo record was “90 per cent done”. “I’m just turning on the live to say… look out for my album, stay tuned,” he told fans. “’m near the end of my work on the album. I don’t know how things will go from now [on], but I will probably be the next member after J-Hope to release my solo album.”
Comparing the new material to his last solo release, 2018’s ‘Mono’, he said: “If ‘Mono’ recorded my 2016 to ’18, then I think this new album serves as my diary and archive for 2019 to ’22.”
Singer-producer Su Lee spent most of the Covid lockdown making music in her 10′ x 10′ bedroom in Seoul. Now she’s traveling the world to promote her great debut album Messy Sexy, which drops this Friday, 28 October.
The album’s title track is an ode to self-acceptance. In the video for the song, the artist exudes offbeat sexiness while tossing Cheetos, spaghetti and dirty clothes everywhere. In addition to writing superb hooks, Lee is perhaps the most unique dancer in the entire pop world. Nobody bops and bounces quite like her.
When asked about her nimble moves, Lee says “It’s so nice of you to compliment what my family calls ‘the demonic jiggle.’ I have actually taken several dance classes before, but I honestly don’t remember anything other than the painful splits they forced me to do at the beginning of class.”
Lee obviously had a lot of fun shooting the “Messy Sexy” video, diving face-first into cake and spaghetti sauce throughout the hook-laden song. “I got to do a few takes for each scene,” she says. “But I had to be intentional about gradually allowing myself to get messier and messier on each take.”
The entire album is an amazing sonic treat that will no doubt turbo-charge Su Lee’s career around the world.
“Sexy” Halloween costumes are nothing new, but there is such a thing as going too far with the whole “sexy” angle.
Want proof? Check out these ten “sexy” Halloween costumes that actually exist. Perhaps you’ll see one or more of these costumes when attending an upcoming Halloween party!
Sexual desire is widely misunderstood. We expect the urge for sex to strike us spontaneously. And when it doesn’t, we assume we must not be that interested in having sex. But the truth is, many people ― women, in particular ― don’t typically experience desire this way.
As sex therapist and psychologist Nazanin Moali told HuffPost, people have been led to believe that things are supposed to work like this: “First, they spontaneously want sex, then their bodies respond with erection or lubrication, which then leads to sexual activity and orgasm.”
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“However, for a large part of the population, desire is more often responsive — that is to say, first, something must feel good before one wants to be sexual,” explained Moali, host of the “Sexology” podcast. “Many feel sexual in response to the situation or context, rather than out of the blue.”
It’s also important to know that our sex drives will ebb and flow throughout our lives for a variety of reasons, both internal and external.
“Issues like medications and medical issues, relationship conflicts, financial and work stress, depression and anxiety, body image issues, poor diet, and the connections people have to their social media devices can all contribute to one’s losing interest in seeking out or receiving sexual gratification,” clinical sexologist and sexuality educator Lawrence Siegel told HuffPost.
But if your low libido is persistent over time and it’s become an issue for you or your relationship, then it’s worth discussing with a professional. If the decreased interest in sex coincided with the onset of illness or injury or beginning a new medication, talk to your health care provider, as “there may be options and alternatives available that don’t have the same impact,” Siegel said.
“If you’re not feeling sexy or sexual, for whatever reason, that’s 100% OK. Seriously.”
- Francisco Ramirez, sex educator and co-founder of OkaySo
A quick note before we jump in: If you’re just not in the mood for sex, for whatever reason, please don’t beat yourself up about it or try to force yourself into feeling differently.
“It’s completely fine not to feel sexy and not want to have sex for that reason,” said Zachary Zane, author of “Boyslut” and sex expert for the queer cruising app Sniffies . “Sometimes, we’re just not feeling it! You or your partner shouldn’t pressure yourself to ‘get’ in the mood.”
That said, if you’re feeling blah but do want to get that sexy spark back, the expert-backed tips below might help:
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1. Take care of your basic needs first.
“It is hard to be in the mood when your basic needs aren’t taken care of, and so many of us are excellent at overriding our most basic human needs. Tend to the basics — hydration, food, rest, meds, movement — and then ask yourself what more you might be wanting.” — Chris Maxwell Rose, sexological bodyworker and founder of Pleasure Mechanics
2. Too stressed to feel sexy? Address what’s on your mind or do something to wind down — or both.
“If you’ve had a really challenging day at school or at work, or if you’ve got tons on your mind, it can be really hard to immediately switch into sexy-time feelings. When we’re super stressed, it can be that much harder to open ourselves up to a state of arousal.
So, consider two options: No. 1: Take some time to deliberately tend to whatever’s stressing you out, even if just for a few minutes. Think: journaling or jotting down one small action you can take today for a less stress-filled tomorrow.
Jena Ardell via Getty Images
To help you de-stress, tap into what feels good in your body. Maybe it's a warm bath or a pair of silk PJs.
Or No. 2: Exercise self-care and good ol’ R&R. Whether it’s taking a luxurious nap, putting on your comfiest sweater, or sipping a warm beverage while taking a hot bath, take a moment to create a come-down period where you turn down the stresses of life and start to turn your attention to things that feel really good.” — Francisco Ramirez, sex educator and co-founder of OkaySo
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3. Be OK with however you’re feeling right now — hot or not.
“Often we talk about getting in themood — as if there isonesingular mood or place that we should ideally be in if we are going to be sexual or experience sexual pleasure. Instead of getting in ‘the mood,’ attune yourself to whatever mood you’re already in, without trying to change that vibe.
Meaning: if you’re not ‘feeling sexy,’ luxuriate in how youarefeeling right now. Get in touch with your body’s own rhythm and vibe, without expecting that traditional feelings of ‘sexiness’ have to show up. It’s totally legit to feel snoozy, or neutral, or quiet, or lazyandstill pursue partnered or solo sex, if that’s what you want to do.
Ultimately, please, please, please know that it issoOK to not be in ‘the mood.’ Often, if we are wishing we were in ‘the mood,’ and then find that we are not, a frustration of not being where we want to be can quickly grow. If you’re not feeling sexy or sexual, for whatever reason, that’s 100% OK. Seriously.”— Ramirez
4. Tap into your fantasies.
“When I ask my clients about their fantasies, sometimes they tell me they have none. Sexual fantasies are thoughts, images and scenarios that help press that sexual accelerator. Even though it is normal to have sexual fantasies, many people feel uncomfortable, ashamed or embarrassed by them.
If you know what you like, place yourself in that exciting fantasy, which helps you get in the mood. While it is important to be present with your partner, borrowing ideas from your fantasies might be just what you would need to get excited. If you are not sure what you like, you can just browse erotic fiction category online and see what you like. Also, if your partner is into it, you both can talk about your favorite sexual fantasies, which can also help you get in the mood.” — Moali
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5. Read or listen to erotica on the regular.
“Listen to an erotic audio story for ten minutes a day. Whether you find the time while you are making your morning coffee, waiting in line at the sandwich shop, after you drop your kiddo off at school, walking your dog, stretching at the gym, or folding laundry, carve out a ten-minute pocket of time each day when you can dip into our imagination. Pop in your earbuds and remind yourself that your body isn’t just made for work and more work. It gets to enjoy pleasure, too.” — Ashleigh Renard, author of “Swing” and creator of the “How to Keep Monogamy Hot” video series
6. Make your environment more seductive.
“It’s easy to take for granted how our environment affects our ability to relax into sexy feelings. Is your bed unmade? Are your clothes unfolded? Do you live, work and cohabitate in the same environment every day? Think about changing up your environment by co-creating a sexy playlist with your partner, changing into something that makes you feel sexy, lighting candles, using scented essential oils or incense and even adorning your bed temporarily with textures that make you feel sensual — e.g. fluffy pillows, satin sheets, soft throws. Prepare the room or space to appeal to your partner’s and your senses.” — Luna Matatas, sex and pleasure educator
7. Do some solo foreplay in the shower.
“This accomplishes two things. One, after a shower, you’re clean and looking fresh; this will make you feel sexier. (It’s hard to feel sexy after a long, exhausting day of work.) Two, you get yourself in the mood to have sex.
Viktoriâ Olenberg / EyeEm via Getty Images
A sexy solo shower might just put you in the mood for partnered sex.
Personally, I ‘edge’ myself in the shower. In other words, I pleasure myself ― getting really close to orgasm ― but then don’t climax. When I’m out of the shower, I want to jump my partner’s bones. We often think of foreplay as something you have to do with your partner, and of course, you absolutely should have tons of foreplay with your partner, but you can also have foreplay by yourself.” — Zane
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8.Nurture your connection to your partner outside of the bedroom.
“If you feel disconnected from your partner all day, no amount of ‘getting in the mood’ tips is going to change the lack of connection that’s needed for sexual intimacy to develop. Feeling seen, heard and supported will.
This means you need to focus on what happens during the day to begin building the mood for the evening.If you’re going to be apart from your partner during the day, plan ahead.
Set up a breakfast or lunch date where you can connect and be playful with each other, then build anticipation throughout the day with sexy texts. Let that morning heat simmer until the fire is aflame at night. Staying connected to a partner throughout the day can also mean more energy and less depletion while you tackle the hard stuff.
“It’s easy to take for granted how our environment affects our ability to relax into sexy feelings. Is your bed unmade? Are your clothes unfolded? Do you live, work and cohabitate in the same environment every day?”
- Luna Matatas, sex and pleasure educator
Lastly, if you’re going through something difficult, initiate a heart-to-heart vulnerable conversation with your partner or enlist their support when you reunite. Carrying a heavy emotional burden alone typically acts as a heavy brake to sexual intimacy that can only be lessened when you feel seen and supported. Even if you’re going through something that requires your involvement alone, feeling supported lessens the emotional load and helps you become more available sexually.” — Irene Fehr, sex and intimacy coach
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9. Take some “pleasure pauses” throughout the day.
“If you’re stressed all day, draining your fuel tank down to empty, infuse your day with what I call ‘pleasure pauses’ that will fill you up and keep you energized.These don’t just work for sexual desire. They reset your nervous system, helping you relax, and give you an energy boost when you might feel tired.
Examples of pleasure pauses include:Taking time at lunch to enjoy your meal, sitting down to breathe in quiet room and let yourself relax fully into your seat by softening the pelvic muscles, activating your sensuality by stroking your own skin, getting hugs throughout the day.
In and of themselves, these pleasure pauses don’t do a lot. But together, they fill your tank and feed your aliveness and mood for more.” — Fehr
10. Move your body in a way that feels joyful or powerful.
“Getting reconnected with your body can be a helpful step in feeling sexy! In a world where we can spend so much time on our phones and can be stuck in comparison, it can do wonders to just remember ’Whoa, I have a body! It can do cool stuff!” This might be a dance class (maybe a heels or pole class, if you want to put extra emphasis on tapping into sexuality), or whatever kind of movement is your jam! Go climbing, play some dodgeball, do some yoga!” —Eva Bloom, sexuality educator and the creator behind @whatsmybodydoing on Instagram
MStudioImages via Getty Images
Movement can help you reconnect to your body. Put on a playlist and dance, do some yoga flows outside, or whatever else tickles your fancy.
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11. Get a sext convo going with your partner.
“Sexting is a fantastic way to increase anticipation, arousal, and confidence. Hearing how badly your partner wants to pleasure you or being told explicitly how beautiful and sexy you are can absolutely make you feel sexy ― and subsequently get you in the mood.” — Zane
12. Find ways to add a little seduction to your daily routine.
“Do you rush through your daily tasks on autopilot? Instead, make a habit of treating your body with the hands of a gentle lover. As you shower, dress, shave, or apply makeup, touch yourself slowly and with intention. Hair in your eyes? Tuck it behind your ear like a sexy barista-turned-love-interest in a rom-com. In the shower, lather up your body and rinse carefully like you have a sexy shower attendant. Next time your shoe is untied, imagine that your arms are full of grocery bags and the cutie at the bus stop kneels down to tie them and then looks up to hold your gaze. Whoa, it’s getting hot in here.” — Renard
13. If sex feels like too much, focus on parts of the body other than the genitals.
“It’s OK to say to your partner: ‘Hey babe, I want to be in the mood but I’m feeling slow to warm today, can we try slowing everything down?’ Slowing things down without the expectation of the kind of sex you usually have can take the pressure off of the need to perform sexiness.
Inti St Clair via Getty Images
Try taking sex off the menu for the night and experimenting with other kinds of intimacy.
You can slow down sex by massaging erogenous areas other than the go-to hot spots. Try scalp, hand or thigh massages. Use breath to send the touch sensations all over your body with deep inhales and exhales. Another way to slow things down is to take genitals out of the play for the night and try focusing on making out, chest play, grinding, dry humping. Sensuality can also show up with tools like eye contact, contrasting touch (e.g. hard to soft) and with dirty talk.” — Matatas
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14. Practice mindfulness.
“Mindfulness is the practice of learning to be in the present moment. Research shows that people who practice mindfulness experience more desire. If you would like to experience lasting effect of mindfulness, it is important to dedicate time to it, daily. However, even in the moment, if you shift your attention to how your bed sheets feel beneath you, the scent of the room, or the sensation your partner’s fingers running down your body, you might notice a buildup of desires. Sometimes, we are so distracted that our minds struggle with computing sexual cues.” — Moali
15. Role-play in public.
“Sometimes couples get stuck doing the same things, over and over, which impacts their desire to have sex. If this is you, role-playing in public might be a solution. Pretend you’re meeting for the first time from the internet. Have a few drinks, dance at a club, have a nice dinner all while you sneakily touch each other’s sexy spots beneath the table or when no one’s looking.” — Moali
16. Or role-play in your own mind.
“Can you think of a couple who routinely appears ready to rip each other’s clothes off? Now, I am not suggesting we all go full-blown Kourt and Trav PDA, but how would you move around your house if you truly couldn’t wait for your partner to jump your bones? How would you walk? How would you look at them? How would you touch their shoulder as you passed them? Notice the parts of you that light up — and the parts that relax — when you have sex appeal and attraction coursing through your veins.” — Renard
17. Attend a sex workshop that piques your interest.
“For those of us with responsive desire, ‘feeling sexy’ or interested in sex is often a gradual process that requires receiving various environmental cues associated with sexuality over time. Taking a sexuality workshop can put sexuality into the forefront of your mind in a fun and curious way without pressure to actually have sex immediately.
One of my top recommendations for sexuality classes you can take from anywhere in the world at any time are those from educator Luna Matatas! She has an amazing library with everything from ‘Banishing Bedroom Boredom’ to ‘Cannabis and Pleasure.’”— Bloom
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18. Remember the afterglow.
“Take a moment to rememberwhyyou enjoy sex and what it feels like to be basking in the afterglow. It’s like visualizing stepping onto the beach while you are waiting in endless airport lines — actively thinking about the rewards will help your brain motivate through the early stages of the journey.” — Maxwell Rose
A customer tries on a Halloween mask at Fantasy Costumes. Photo: Scott Olson/Getty Images
👋 Hi, it's Justin. If you're still searching for a cool costume with Halloween just a week away, you may want to check out the Tribune's list of Chicago-themed outfits.
The one problem: They forgot that these days, every costume has a more popular "sexy" version.
At some point, we moved on from scary nurses and vampires to sexy medical workers and blood suckers.
Burning question: Does this trend translate to Chicago-inspired costumes? You decide.
Sexy gubernatorial candidate
Darren Bailey arrives by tractor at the Illinois State Fair. Photo: Monica Eng/Axios
This comes in two styles: One involves a flannel work shirt (sleeveless), jeans (cutoffs) and a rake from your garage. Extra points if you can drive a tractor to your Halloween party.
Sexy Dibs enforcer
A resident uses an ironing board to save a parking spot on the street after shoveling out their parking spot. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images
The costume: Picking up the trash left behind after a snowstorm melts away can be a pretty unsexy job.
So spruce it up with an alluring municipal worker uniform, a wool hat and a folding chair. Streets and San fashion never looked so good!
Sexy Italian beef
Italian beef sandwich from Al's Beef on Taylor Street. Photo: Justin Kaufmann/Axios
The costume: What's sexier than felt taped to your bare skin while you're wearing an oversized bun coat and asking, "Wet or dry?"
Let’s not pretend Halloween is about anything other than looking hot. Spooky decorations, candy, yada yada, BORING. It’s all about the sexy nurses and the sexy cats. Mean Girls spelled it out for us, after all. But we also can’t forget for one minute that we go to such a prestigious institution. So, we’ve compiled a list of Harvard-themed sexy Halloween costumes so you can look both hot and self-referential on the big night.
Sexy John Harvard
We know him, we love him, we’ll love you dressed as him. Yellow shoes are a must.
Sexy Remy
A Harvard twist on the classic sexy cat.
Red and His Best Fresh Catch
A couples costume for the ages!
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Sexy Stat 110 Midterm
Sexy and terrifying!
HUDS Three Bean Chili (Group Costume)
Another HUDS classic!
Sexy Loker Reading Room
For the strong and silent type.
Sexy Annenberg Renovations
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Berg’s beef fajita fettuccine alfredo isn’t the only thing people are going to be eating if you show up to the function in this fit.
Regular Dean Khurana
This iconic aesthetic doesn’t need any changes. But leather pants can’t hurt.
Take our advice, and you’re sure to have the best Halloweekend of your life. Happy spooky season!
Taylor Swift released her 10th studio album, Midnights, on Friday, and has left fans wondering—what is a "sexy baby?"
The phrase comes from the album's third track, "Anti-Hero," a deeply personal track about "all the things [Swift] tends to hate about" herself.
"Track 3, 'Anti-Hero,' is one of my favorite songs I've ever written. I really don't think I've delved this far into my insecurities in this detail before," Swift said of the track in an Instagram reel.
"[T]his song really is a real guided tour throughout all the things I tend to hate about myself. We all hate things about ourselves," she continued. "So yeah, I like 'Anti-Hero' a lot because I think it's really honest."
Taylor Swift attends 'In Conversation With... Taylor Swift' during the 2022 Toronto International Film Festival at TIFF Bell Lightbox on September 09, 2022 in Toronto, Ontario.Amy Sussman / Staff/Getty
Swift uses "Anti-Hero" to grapple with her depression, "all of the people [she's] ghosted" because of it, and her "covert narcissism." She also describes feeling like a "monster on the hill" that is "too big to hang out/ Slowly lurching toward your favorite city/ Pierced through the heart but never killed."
But one of the song's most-tweeted about lyrics comes right before Swift's monster metaphor; the line in which she says she "sometimes [feels] like everybody is a sexy baby."
What is a 'Sexy Baby'?
"When Taylor Swift said sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby ... what on earth was she talking about," Vandana Ravikumar tweeted.
"TAYLOR DID YOU JUST SAY SEXY BABY?" Haley asked
"I am once again asking what the f**k 'Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby' means," Audrey said.
Some fans were confused and a bit concerned by the line; however, some listeners theorized it was likely a reference to a 30 Rock episode titled, "TSG Hates Women."
In the episode, Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) hires a writer named Abby (Cristin Milioti) to join the TGS with Tracy Jordan staff, Uproxx reported. But when the two women meet up, Lemon accuses Abby of putting on a "sexy baby" act for male attention.
"[A sexy baby is] someone who derives their power from being both sexy and babyish, but, crucially, is not a baby," Vice said in 2018. "It's putting on your best whiny voice while asking someone to fetch something for you that's already within arm's reach. It's pouting and doing puppy eyes while holding a large knife."
"'Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby/ And I'm a monster on the hill/ Too big to hang out' is a reference to 30 Rock and a commentary on the male gaze," Timmy said of the controversial song lyric. "'Sexy baby' on 30 Rock refers to how predatory men can be to women who act younger or more childlike.
So Taylor's most likely saying here that she sometimes feels like everyone around her is conventionally attractive and she's not the one men look to first. Taylor swift was NOT calling babies sexy," Timmy continued.
"IT'S A REFERENCE TO 30 ROCK YOU GUYS DON'T REALIZE THERE ARE LAYERS," era tweeted.
Taylor Swift, trying to decode her own lyrics. Photo: Republic Records
In its first 24 hours of existence, Taylor Swift’s new album, Midnights, has given us a lot to chew on. Its arrival has prompted questions like, how many cameos is too many? Where the hell is Lana del Rey? And just what did Taylor mean when she called everyone a sexy baby?
Lyrically, Midnights is as Swiftian as ever: There’s a Crayola box’s worth of color references, a fair share of Easter eggs (including one lyric that Taylor snuck into her NYU graduation speech back in May), and one crushing track that can’t not be about John Mayer. There is, of course, a revenge song. I strongly suspect Swift had a thesaurus on hand while writing, because the range of vocabulary on display is truly impressive.
In that vein, Midnights also has some of Taylor’s most elaborate, over-the-top metaphors, which is to say, sometimes it’s hard to figure out what the hell she’s talking about. (Case in point: sexy baby.) We know from history that her songs almost always have specific reference points, many of them from her life. But between all the testy weather, whimsical scene-setting, and vivid revenge fantasies, not everything is clear. The album’s rollout is nowhere near over, so we very well might get some further insight into what Taylor means by some of these mystery lyrics. However, some of them provide more questions than answers. Here are the most cryptic snippets.
And I chose you The one I was dancing with In New York, no shoes
This is the chorus of “Maroon,” to which I say, Taylor, where are your shoes? Nowhere in New York is it safe or sanitary to stand, let alone dance, without shoes on. Whimsy does not make you immune to tetanus.
Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby And I’m a monster on the hill Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city Pierced through the heart but never killed
The telltale sexy baby. Taylor is a talented director, but this plot is really losing me. What could she possibly mean? Does she feel that we, the sexy babies, are threatened by her, an unsexy monster? Is this city overrun by sexy babies? Please, Taylor, I will not know peace until you tell me what you mean by this, your most confusing metaphor yet.
From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I called a taxi to take me there I search the party of better bodies Just to learn that my dreams aren’t rare
“You’re on Your Own, Kid” seems to be about having a high-school crush and also realizing she wanted to be a musician, but the party she’s singing about simply sounds bad. I hope she’s found some more uplifting parties where the guests support her dreams.
Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room And every single one of your friends was making fun of you But 15 seconds later, they were clapping too?
No, Taylor, this has never happened to me, but your friends sound like they’re giving you a lot of mixed messages. Leave this room immediately.
She needed cold hard proof so I gave her some She had the envelope, where you think she got it from? Now she gets the house, gets the kids, gets the pride Picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife
She is, as the title of this song indicates, on her “Vigilante Shit.” I’m going to assume Taylor took some creative liberty here, but if you’re aware of any divorced friends she has, please send them my way for thorough questioning.
Sapphire tears on my face Sadness became my whole sky But some guy said my aura’s moonstone Just ’cause he was high And we danced all night
God, she has been to some awful parties. This one was probably in Bushwick. Here, Taylor is threatening her rude boyfriend that she will go out and flirt with someone who appreciates her more, but I feel I must warn her that any dude talking about auras is not going to be a better option. Still, I’d like to know who he is, for research purposes only.
Spider boy, king of thieves Weave your little webs of opacity My pennies made your crown Trick me once, trick me twice Don’t you know that cash ain’t the only price?
Whew! You can really see the thesaurus coming in handy here. This is on the song “Karma,” which, well, you can probably guess what it’s about. To my knowledge, Taylor has not dated Tom Holland, who recently played Spider-Man, nor has she had romantic connections to the past Spider-Men, Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire. There are too many specific references here for them to be random, but the studious Swifties on Reddit will have to decode it for me.
This is the first time I’ve felt the need to confess And I swear I’m only cryptic and Machiavellian ’cause I care
I appreciate that Taylor threw an encouraging little lyric into the album’s last song, “Mastermind,” even though it kind of sounds like something a Disney villain would say. If she really “cares,” wouldn’t she tell us exactly what all her lyrics mean?!
Do you really wanna know where I was April 29? Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?
Of course, we must also dissect the album’s seven bonus songs, including “High Infidelity,” which is about cheating on a guy who’s into music. (It’s also, maybe, probably, a cutesy nod to Zoë Kravitz’s presence on the album.) Again, we have a reference way too specific to be random, where Taylor appears to be pinpointing the exact date she cheated on someone. She’s had plenty of musician boyfriends (Joe Jonas, John Mayer, Harry Styles, Calvin Harris), and this could be about any of them, though I sincerely hope it’s not Styles — he has enough drama for the time being.
I was supposed to sweat you out In search of glorious happenings of happenstance on someone else’s playground But it’s been two thousand one-hundred ninety-nine days of our love blackout
Sex-math time! 2,199 days translates to just over six years, which happens to be about how long Taylor has been dating her current boyfriend, actor and London boy Joe Alwyn. Consider this the one solvable mystery on Midnights.
